My Side of the Sugar Bowl

                                                    My Side of the Sugar Bowl 


Life as I know it :) A real sweet tooth  I know now I honestly inherited it from my
beloved Grandmother Mae  she always had a cake baked and lil sweet candies
hidden in cushions and lil stashes around her house :) She is so adorable to me
so caring kind and yet life for her was not so sweet.She never gave up and never
stopped loving all of us. She herself was a mother of 3 (  2 girls and a boy )

  Marlene Joyce was around 5 or 6 when she was taken by the Angels
Life cut short a Grandmother who has lost a child so very young, I can't
Imagine how she got through those painful memories day after day.

  Then there's Delores Mae my precious mother. I lost my hopes and dreams
when she passed away I was only 2 years old, but I carried an emptiness
inside no one could ever fill, Once again Grandma Mae suffered another tragic loss

  She had Bobby or Robert but he too seemed to disappear from her life , but in a
different sort of way. I do know my Mother loved him very much as they grew
up together. She even had him stay with her when she turned  15 yrs old :)
that to came to an end and there is not much known beyond there,
All grown up and a young woman with much love in her heart

I think he was a dads boy, so there you go. Another loss for my Grandmother Mae

   Delores then had 6 of us lil rugrats before she passed at a very young age
one month away from turning 35 years old. This is where it all began for me
I was only 2 or so when I lost my father and 6 months later to the day my mother.
The day she passed was exactly on April Fool's Day.I still wait for someone to tell me
it was a mean lil joke, but that has yet to happen and as I am older now
drinking my coffee as sweet as I can make it   I finally understand.

    I was now officially an orphan along with my siblings.
but with a Grandmother with a heart of Gold. Another loss for my Grandma Mae
Somehow deep inside I am so deeply connected to both my Mom and Grandmother
It has never left me yet I carried the deep dark emptiness of being without
them just a toddler stripped away from all those I knew.

Luckily 1 was placed
with my youngest brother who was beside me to take care of me.We weren't allowed to be
separated .Papers signed and sealed with unknown people as they drank coffee while
reading and rattling papers. A bustling court room or building that seemd so large
beautifully designed yet hollow and so cold to me as I sat outside the room watching with the door
opened as they looked at me and continued on about something so important.
I wanted to know what did this have to do with me. Coffe stained the paper and was
quckly redone as I sat by myself scared alone silent and so  empty to the depths of my soul.
I swang my legs and lil black shoes back and forth. 

    I could only twist and fiddle with my pale blue dress and pick at the lil flowers that
adorned my small frame. A lady with the brightest colored green outfit smiled, talked w me
a moment as if I understood the whole meaning behind the sips of coffee conversations and
I finally came to realize life,, as I walked out of the enormous building ,would never be the same again..





  






My Precious Mother Grandmother Brothers Sister and Me (BitterSweet)